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K J Bennett: The Blog

Writing & Other Stuff

It's about me, writing, publishing and stuff

Sad Reality

Music Posted on Mon, June 06, 2011 18:01:50

It was a slightly surreal moment when I accidentally found myself switching to ITV1 HD on Saturday night and finding Myleen Klass introducing Popstar to Opera Star.

I have no issues with anyone trying to sing opera: tough stuff to master, I’d say. The problem for me was not the concept but one of the contestants. Eight ‘celebrities’ appear, and seven can at least claim with a degree of confidence that they have been pop stars, but one of them definitely cannot.

Step forward Mr Joe McEldrey. Take a bow.

Joe won the X Factor in 2009. He had the Christmas number one off the back of it. Again, i have no problem with the cynical manipulation of the charts by Mr S Cowell & Co – it business, isn’t it? But what happened to Joe Mc next is rather sad and stupid.

The Great British Public (GBP) voted for Joe. They bought his record, and it sounded like the Joe they’d voted for. Then came the next single. Cowell & Co had managed to take a reasonably talented lad with a distinctive voice and turn him into an anonymous-sounding pop clone. GBP did not vote to hear that shite! Here’s a link – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K6Rus-9x8o8 – I can’t be bothered to embed it! Sounds a bit Jimmy Sommerville, to me. I’m told the album is equally crap, but I haven’t heard it. Next, Cowell dropped McEldrey from his label.

So what we have is Joe McEldrey, wannabe pop star, now trying to resurrect a non-existent career by going on Popstar to Opera Star.

But he never was one.

If he pulls it off he may rightly claim to have super powers.



Twittering about everything

Chit Chat Posted on Sat, May 28, 2011 11:25:34

So, Twitter.

In my guise as @kj_bennett I am following 37, and being followed by 18 (I’ve been Tweeting since May 9th 2011).

I have a BlackBerry App for it. All day long my BlackBerry flashes at me, telling me I have new Tweets. First thing in the morning I get messages telling me I have +20 new Tweets. Some of the users I follow post so many Tweets I’m wondering if they have anything else to do in life.

Some of these guys and guyesses (new word, the feminine for guys) follow more than a thousand other users. Ye Gads, I can barely cope with a handful of the 37 people I follow telling me their every move! How do they cope with 1500?

They’ve been rumbled: me thinks they don’t read it all.



It must be the Starbucks Effect

Pet Peeve Posted on Fri, May 20, 2011 20:44:02

I go into a coffee house and read the menu. I don’t know why I read the menu – they’re all pretty much the same and I only like coffee in my coffee, none of that choco-vanilla-latte-cinnamon-cream-with-sprinkles for me. All I want is a black coffee, sometimes with an extra shot. I’m fond of Caffe Nero and Costa Coffee, but the best coffee I have tasted that wasn’t made by me is from the Merchant Tea & Coffee House in St Albans, Herftfordshire. Starbucks actually sits low on my list of decent coffee emporiums.

In all of these places, a black coffee is called an Americano, and the menu always tells me that this is one or two shots of espresso, topped with water: a BLACK coffee.

So, why is it that when I order this obviously black coffee I am always asked if I want milk with it?

On principle I won’t ask for a black Americano: that would be like asking for a black black coffee, but the staff are always willing to offer me a white black coffee!

I find this very perturbing. When I buy a fillet of fish or of steak, I’m never asked, “Would you like bones with that, sir?”



Unmanly!

Damn, that's tough Posted on Tue, May 17, 2011 23:33:18

I am not what I would call a ‘man’s man’; I don’t do all that ‘we’re all lads together, let’s get hopelessly drunk and celebrate our manliness’ stuff that others tend to do.

In my misspent youth I could have qualified for the Olympic Drinking Team, as others will attest, but these days I fall at the third pint hurdle. Probably the alcohol conflicts with the pain-killers I take daily for my wrecked spine. But even in my drinking days I was not the typical man.

Tonight I demonstrated my lack of male credential: we were in a pub in Bournemouth. The Cardiff vs Reading match was on and the Welsh chap with us was almost weeping at the sight of his team being slaughtered.I happened to say, “On fashion grounds alone, Cardiff should win.”

Every one looked at me like I was mad.

“Ah, come on,” I urged. “The Welsh are in blue and white, and Reading’s uniform is black shirt and red shorts. They look stupid.”

What was my mistake? What did everyone pick up on? Was it the fashion statement?

No.

Apparently, soccer teams don’t wear uniform, they wear a strip.

Did I mention that I don’t do football?



Silver Fox

Doldrums Posted on Mon, May 16, 2011 22:14:11

Bournemouth, on the sunny south coast of England. Three days and four nights in a hotel where I have discovered that the bath towels are the size of a dish cloth and the hand towels are like face cloths.

I’d watch TV on the brand new Samsung flat panel that was only installed yesterday, but they seem to have misplaced the signal for all rooms on the fourth floor.

I’d browse the internet, but they charge for an hour more than I’d pay for a week (this post brought to you by The Power of Blackberry).

That leaves me with choices:
1 Write
2 Read
3 Go to bed

Too tired for 1, not tired enough for 3, so 2 it is.

Whilst contemplating my dilema I took a long, hard look in the mirror, one of the few servicible things here. Boy, do I need to lose the flab! Also, the clump of hairs that stick out of my shirt on my ever-so-manly chest are now silver, along with those at the temples and some hairs on my arms (I daren’t look any lower).

I’m becoming the Silver Fox.

But my kids probably know me as the Greying Git.



Twitter

Writing Posted on Mon, May 09, 2011 21:25:13

Everyone said join, and I resisted. But for no longer. Now I am @kj_bennett and after only a few hours I have FOLLOWERS. Now I’m beginning to feel all important.

Followers.

Jesus had them. Now I know how he felt – except for the crucifixion bit, that is.



It’s new, it’s colourful, it’s more fun!!!

Publishing Posted on Fri, March 25, 2011 21:37:42

With new content, sundry items and more graphics, not to mention a warm feel, my website is revamped. Pay it a visit.



RIP Elizabeth Taylor

Doldrums Posted on Wed, March 23, 2011 21:06:46

In her day a truly beautiful woman, Elizabeth Taylor died today aged 79 years.

This picture is something I created back in 2001 when I wrote an on-line spoof celeb magazine known as Entertainment UK.

It doesn’t do her justice.



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